Friday, February 28, 2014

Genghis Khan

"I am God's punishment for your sins."

These were the infamous words of the Mongol warrior when he laid waste to Bukhara.  On our flight to Uzbekistan, we met one of Genghis Khan's descendants.  Not sure what our sins were, but he was truly a punishment for them.

He was sitting behind Josh.  It started with the typical kicking the back of the seat; no big deal.  Just a few taps and a rattling jar now and then.  Then he began poking Josh with the flight safety information card.  Sliding it between the wall and Josh's seat and wiggling it about, trying to evoke a response.  Josh played along by trapping the card with his shoulder occasionally, and then letting it go.  So far, trade relations were friendly.

Then Little Genghis began slapping the card against Josh's neck and shoulders.  We waited for the parents to step in, but they did not.  So we sat through it, passing back the card whenever the kid dropped it.  He got bored eventually.  But not for long.  Soon he had discovered a new weapon.

We then took a beating from a four year old wielding a small pillow.  He was standing in his chair and buffeting us from behind.  His parents did ask him at this point to sit down.  So he did.  And began throwing the pillow over our seats and onto us.  Why we dutifully passed back the pillow each time, I cannot say.  It was still a game at this point.

When we got tired of giving the pillow back, we decided to initiate a different sort of bilateral exchange.  I took the pillow cover off the pillow and Josh made a hand puppet out of it.  The puppet peeked back through the chairs and said hello to the kid.  His father laughed, but Genghis was not impressed.  We had crossed a line.  In retaliation, he stood up in his chair and smacked Josh's head with his bare palm a few times.  Of course he was too small for it to hurt, so we laughed it off. 

I am not sure the order of events here, but I know that before long, he had crawled over the back of our chairs and had landed head first in my seat.  He was now upside down, feet flopping about, between me and the back of my chair.  Party foul.  We dutifully passed him back.  Because after all, he weighed about thirty pounds.  But what he lacked in size, he made up for in ferocity.  He reached back over and grabbed a fistful of my hair.  I think his parents made him let go.

With my sudden freedom, I took refuge under the only shield in sight: my complimentary airline blanket.  And then he was back with a vengeance.  There I was, holding a wool cloth over my head and shoulders, with a small Uzbek child attacking me from above.  He clawed at the blanket, trying to get my hair, or my nose, or anything fleshy and vulnerable.  I sheltered silently, and waited for someone to do something.  After about thirty seconds, the person in front of me noticed my plight and said something to the parents.  They finally stepped in and restrained the child by force, and his reign of terror ended.  Later on in the ride, after a nap, he would give us both fist bumps, and show us the candy he was eating.  Pax Mongolica.  All was well.

1 comment:

  1. Ha ha ha i guess he showed you! <3 Kids are the same all over the world.